Panacea
by GreyInnocence
Summary: Kida hears that Mikado is in the hospital and returns to Ikebukuro just as Haruhi is arriving in search of the Headless Rider. Kida and Mikado explore new territory, and Izaya and Saki enjoy toying with the S.O.S. Brigade. KidaMika, other pairings.
1. Welcome to Ikebukuro

A/N: We have a friend named Bailey. She likes to make us her fic bitches. And, like, this was originally supposed to be, like, lighthearted and funny, and then... all this plot happened and I just don't understand. Oh! And real title: Suzumiya Haruhi's BIG BIG Ikebukuro Adventure! —Scarlet

This story is much too dark for that title, though, so we had to change it. Sorry. :D —Katie

Pairings: Kida/Mikado, Kida/Saki, Shinra/Celty, slight Haruhi/Kyon, slight Mikado/Anri, slight Shizuo/Izaya

Warnings: Violence, yaoi, eventual lime/lemon, spoilers for the end of the first season.

Panacea: Chapter 1—Welcome to Ikebukuro

Mikado clutched the edge of a dumpster, tried to pull himself up. Pain shot through his chest, and he lowered himself back to the ground, coughing. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, wincing when he saw droplets of bright red blood.

He couldn't get home this way. He knew some of his ribs were broken-if he moved too much, one of the bones might puncture something important…

Groaning a little in pain, he maneuvered himself so he could fish his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed.

"Hello?" a cheerful voice answered.

"Sh-Shinra-san?" he said hoarsely.

—

To: Bakyura

From: Saika

Subject: Urgent

Bakyura-san,

Tanaka-san has been hospitalized. Please return to Ikebukuro.

Saika

—

"We are going to Ikebukuro!" Haruhi's hand clapped loudly against the tabletop.

"How?" Kyon asked boredly.

Haruhi pulled five train tickets from behind her back and slammed them onto the table, beginning to animatedly explain that they were going to find the headless motorcycle rider who could materialize scythes!

"Really?" Itsuki mused.

Haruhi proceeded to turn the computer monitor around, revealing a paused video of a woman in a leather catsuit. It wasn't until her helmet fell off that the video became unusual—well, if you ignored the screaming running people, that was.

—

"Kida-kun! Saki-san!" Anri waved as she spotted her friend and his girlfriend amongst the sea of passengers getting on and off the train.

"Anri-chan," Kida said, moving to hug her but pausing and then lowering his arms, looking away. "How—how've you been?"

"Good," she said shyly. "And you? How are things abroad with Saki-chan?"

"We're doing fine. Is Mikado okay?"

"He's… better." Anri bit her lip. "He had five broken ribs, a concussion, a lot of cuts and bruises, but he's definitely getting better. Shinra-san's seen to that. Kida-kun, Ryugamine-kun's been asking for you."

"Mikado has…" Kida frowned. "Anri-chan, do you know why he was attacked?"

"Ryugamine-kun says he thinks it was random, but I don't know if I believe him. I… well, I have a theory, but I think Ryugamine-kun doesn't want me to worry. Maybe he'll tell you, Kida-kun."

"After Saki and I drop off our bags, can we go to the hospital to see him?"

"Of course."

As the trio trotted up the stairs Kida heard a girl's voice shouting "Anyone who knows anything about the headless rider should report to the south entrance immediately!" He looked over his shoulder. The girl in the red playboy bunny outfit next to the shouting girl was really hot, but Saki, and… Kida tore his eyes away from the strange group in the middle of the station.

—

"Hello, Anri-chan, back to see Ryuugamine-kun?" the woman at the nursing station greeted them.

"Hello, Nurse Tamina. I brought some of Ryuugamine-kun's friends with me, if that's okay?" Anri bowed slightly.

"He's sleeping right now, but you can go in." She gestured down the hall with her clipboard.

Anri bowed again and led them to the end of the hall where Mikado's room was.

"Kida-kun, I think…" Anri shuffled her feet. "I think maybe you should go in alone first."

Kida tilted his head in curiosity, but went in and shut the door behind him.

Mikado lay under the sheets, a healing yellow bruise on his left cheek and two black stitches on his right eyebrow the only outward signs he had been hurt. There was a mask over his nose and mouth, and several tubes ran from IV drips under the sheet and light hospital blanket. His hair had grown a little, Kida noticed absently, but the black of his hair only highlighted how pale he'd gotten…

"Mikado…" Kida whispered, stepping towards the bed.

"Masaomi?" Mikado forced his eyes open.

"Mikado!" Kida forced back the strong urge to hug his friend.

Mikado smiled and brought his hands out from under the sheet to pull off the mask.

"You shouldn't—"

"Relax, it's just for when I sleep…" Mikado gave him a small smile.

"Oh…"

"I'm so glad you came… I told Sonohara-san not to tell you I got hurt because I didn't want you to have to come all the way back to Ikebukuro… but now that you're here, I realize how much I've missed you."

Kida smiled. "Ah, Mikado~ Don't say that around Anri-chan, she'll be jealous!"

"Sonohara-san…" Mikado's smile left him for a moment, but returned full-force when he asked, "You've been away! How's Saki-san? Have you both been well?"

"We've been fine. I'm more concerned about you."

"I'm… doing better. I wasn't all that banged up to begin with, just some broken ribs, and they're healing pretty well."

"What happened?"

Mikado looked down. "Well, I was attacked. You know that."

"Do you know why?"

"I… no. No, I don't."

Kida frowned. "Why are you lying?"

Mikado sighed. "Masaomi, I… I don't think it's a good idea to tell you. After what happened when Sonohara-san was attacked…"

"So you _do _know."

"…Yes. But it's… it's not worth you getting all worked up over it. I don't want anyone else getting hurt because of me, _especially _you."

Kida pulled himself onto the foot of the hospital bed and looked at his lap.

"It's no big deal, Masaomi." Mikado pushed himself up into a sitting position.

"How can you say that? You're in the hospital!"

Mikado shrugged. "I'm not dead."

"You could have been."

"That's not the point." Mikado sighed.

"Tell me. Please?"

"It… it doesn't matter, Masaomi."

"It matters because whoever it was _targeted _you, and they could come after you again! You say you don't want anyone else to get hurt because of you, but I'd rather die than let you be hurt like this again!"

Mikado's eyes widened. "M-Masaomi—"

"Kidaaaaaa-kun!" The door was thrown open, allowing one Orihara Izaya to stroll into the hospital room.

Kida looked at the informant suspiciously.

"How are you feeling, Ryuugamine-kun?" Izaya's smirking gaze was still locked with Kida's half glare.

"I'm doing much better now that Masaomi's here." Mikado smiled.

Kida turned his head to look at Mikado.

"Orihara-san, I didn't know you were visiting today…" Anri and Saki came into the room with drinks in their arms. "Do you want something to drink? I can run and get something for you?"

"Sure, Anri-chan. Coffee, if they have it." Izaya dug in his pocket and dropped a few coins into her hand. Anri smiled at him and left.

Izaya snagged the drink Saki was handing to Kida and cracked open the tab. He tapped her forehead with the bottom rim. "Yo."

Kida watched Izaya closely.

Izaya shrugged. "Oh, Kida-kun, I heard a group of Yellow Scarves got together with a group of Blue Squares." He glanced at Mikado for effect before locking eyes with the blonde again. "Thought you might be interested."

"I'll keep it in mind." Kida's eyes flicked to his friend, who was exchanging pleasantries with Saki.

"Well, I have to go. See you later, Ryuugamine-kun, Kida-kun… Saki-chan…" Izaya left with a mock salute.

Kida looked at Mikado. "The Yellow Scarves?"

"I don't know anything about that," Mikado said quietly.

"Stop lying! Izaya-san—"

"Masaomi, not now."

Kida glanced back at Saki. "I'll come back tomorrow. Alone."

—

"We haven't gotten _any _information about the Headless Rider," Haruhi pouted, picking at her sushi. "So, what are we going to do to get more people to talk to us?" She waited a second, then continued, "You all are useless! How about this: Kyon, you'll come with me and we'll find out the most recent place the Headless Rider was seen, and—"

"If you're looking for information on the Headless Rider," the enormous patron of the sushi place said with a thick English accent, "I know someone who can help you."

—

"So," Kida said the next day, hopping up on Mikado's bed, "the Yellow Scarves."

Mikado sighed. "Apparently they're still feeling threatened by the Dollars. And somehow they found out I'm the leader. I guess this was to scare me into disbanding the Dollars."

"But—you already did!"

"Technically. But like Kodota-san said, we can't make the Dollars disappear. They were never visible. I guess the Yellow Scarves just haven't gotten that yet."

Kida gritted his teeth. "Bastards. If I contact them—"

"You're not their leader anymore, Masaomi. They don't respect you. Last time you were in contact with them they almost killed you! This is why I didn't want you to know, I _knew _you'd want to find them—"

"But they—Mikado, you don't know them like I do, this won't be the last time they come after you!"

"I know that."

"But—"

"It's okay. Better me than other people, right?"

"No! Besides they'll start going after other people too…" Kida put his hands on Mikado's shoulders. "When do you get out of the hospital?"

"Nurse Tamina won't tell me." Mikado sighed heavily, leaning back into his pillows. "It should be soon. I think they just have me on pain meds and antibiotics."

Kida nodded. "Izaya-san took Saki out to lunch today… I was thinking, you're going to need someone to take care of you when you get out of here, and things are kind of getting crowded at Anri-chan's. Maybe I could crash at your place for a while?"

Mikado nodded. "That'd be great, Masaomi."

—

"Izaya-san, where are we supposed to be meeting these friends of yours?" Saki asked.

"Russia Sushi." Izaya threaded his arm though Saki's. "How has dear Saki-chan been since she left with Kida-kun?"

"Oh, we've been here and there," Saki said breezily. "I'm more interested in these people we're meeting. You said Simon-san referred them to you?"

"I am an informant, after all. And they want information on the Headless Rider."

"Celty-san?"

"Yes, but keep quiet, Saki-chan. Here we are." Izaya steered Saki into Russia Sushi. "Simon, are my lovely guests here?"

"They're waiting in the back," Simon told him.

Izaya nodded and headed for the back room, Saki at his heels.

—

"So, this friend of yours, she knows the headless rider?"

Izaya nodded.

"And she'd be willing to talk to us."

"Maybe…"

"Suzumiya-san, I think I heard a motorcycle outside…"

"Kyon!" Haruhi grabbed the back of the boy's collar and dragged him out.

"Orihara-san," Itsuki said as Haruhi and Kyon exited the restaurant, "Are you serious about introducing Suzumiya-san to the headless rider?"

Izaya shrugged.

"Don't."

"Hm… And why shouldn't I?"

"…Is the Headless Rider really headless?"

"Yes. Is that unbelievable?"

"Not at all. But I want to tell you something that may be a little… shocking if you don't have any previous experience with the supernatural."

"Oh, I have plenty of experience. Do tell."

"Suzumiya-san is… God."

Izaya cocked his head. "God."

"But she doesn't _know _that she's God. So whenever she's feeling bored or unhappy, supernatural things pop up because that's what she's interested in. But if we keep her busy looking for something she won't find, she won't get bored."

"Hm…" Izaya grinned. "You know, that sounds like fun. I think I'll tell your friend everything I know about the Headless Rider."

"No, Orihara-san, you don't understand—"

"Come, Saki~! We have matters to discuss with Suzumiya-san." Izaya stood, taking Saki by the hand, and skipped out of the room before Itsuki could stop him.

"Who on Earth would be _encouraged _by that…" he murmured to himself. "Well, we have to find a way to keep him away from Haruhi."

Simon chose that moment to peak in. "You want to keep Izaya-san away from your friend? I know someone who can help you."

Itsuki chuckled. "You know a lot of people, Simon-san."

—

"Ne, Izaya-san," Saki said as Izaya dragged her down the street, "you can't possibly believe all that nonsense about her being God, can you?"

"Well, either they're telling the truth or they're insane. Either way, this is more fun for me."

"What are you going to do?" Saki looked up at him coyly.

Izaya's smirk widened. "Mikado gets out of the hospital in a few days—"

"How do you know that?"

"Looked at the nurse's charts. Anyways, I told Suzumiya-san to go to his apartment then. That should be a good start for her."

—

"Heiwajima-san?"

"What's it to you?" Shizuo took a drag of his cigarette and looked at the boy out of the corner of his eyes.

He was only a kid, but he couldn't have been from around here. Or maybe he wasn't a kid and it was just the streetlight playing tricks on his eyes. He needed to get his eyes checked. Regardless, people from around Ikebukuro didn't come up to him like this. Except that stupid reporter—

"Heiwajima-san, my name is Koizumi Itsuki. I have a friend that needs to be kept away from Orihara Izaya. I was told you could help us with that?"

"Any excuse to beat the shit out of that flea…" Shizuo dropped his cigarette and ground it under his foot. "Who's your friend?"

—

"Are you sure you don't mind staying?" Anri asked Kida before she and Saki left.

"I'll be fine. Mikado's going to be asleep most of the time anyways, with all the pain medication they have him taking, and Shinra-san should be coming over this evening anyways, right?"

"Oh, Masaomi," Saki said, pulling him outside the apartment for a moment, "I'm going to work at Izaya-san's office, just while we're here, of course. Is that all right?"

Kida frowned. He really didn't want her anywhere near Izaya, but at least she'd be safe there, unlike with him while he figured out who exactly hurt Mikado and made them wish they hadn't… "Fine, but be careful, please?"

She nodded and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. "You be careful too."

Then they left. Kida sat down next to the futon where Mikado was sleeping quietly. He brushed a few short locks of black hair out of his friend's face. Whoever did this to Mikado would pay.


	2. Meet the Locals

A/N: Uh… hi again, everyone. Not much to say this time around. Hope you're enjoying, Bailey-dearest.

Warnings: It's not really a warning, but there are a few cameos from really minor characters in this chapter. Rest assured, all the people Haruhi talks to are in DRRR!

Disclaimer: I know we are collectively awesome, but we are not collectively awesome enough to come up with The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi and Durarara!

Panacea: Chapter 2—Meet the Locals

"The Headless Rider?"

"Yes! Have you heard of her? Seen her?"

"Everyone's heard of her. She's an urban legend around here." The blonde shrugged nonchalantly. "If you want, I could try to help you find her."

"What?"

"You put what you're looking for on this…" She flipped the large drawing pad that hung around her neck to a fresh page. "And I advertise it for you!"

Haruhi was quick to snag the marker from the woman's hand, writing "HEADLESS RIDER" in bold print on the paper.

"And our company phone number," she added, scribbling a phone number and email address underneath.

"Hey—that's my cell phone number!" Kyon snatched the marker out of her hand. "Why don't you use _your _number instead of shoving all the responsibility of keeping track of things on me?"

"Because you're the vice president!" Haruhi snapped. "Don't complain so much, Kyon, it's not like you ever take any initiative and come up with stuff for the club to do, the least you can do is—"

"The least I can do? You're lucky I'm even still in this stupid club—"

"Well I don't need you! If you hate it so much you should just quit!"

Kyon opened his mouth to retort but closed it when he saw Koizumi and Asahina's panicked looks. He sighed. "No, I don't want to quit. I'm sorry, Haruhi."

"Yeah, well, you should be. Come on, we have to talk to more people, someone's bound to have seen her!"

—

"Mikado~!" Kida plopped onto Mikado's futon. "Are you feeling any better today?"

"Oh, yes." Mikado smiled. "Thank you again for taking care of me, Masaomi."

"What else could I do for a friend in need? Though you know, you should've asked Anri-chan to come stay with you! You could have used your current weakness to seduce her." Kida winked.

Mikado sighed. "Masaomi… it's not like that with Anri-chan and me."

"Oh, don't be silly, Mikado! Anri-chan is clearly head over heels for you!"

"Not just me," Mikado pointed out, "and anyway, it doesn't matter. I don't… like her that way."

Kida frowned. "You did before I left."

"I did," Mikado agreed, "but… things changed."

"What changed?"

Mikado started to reply, but a knock at the door cut him off. Kida glanced at Mikado before hopping up to answer it.

"Hey, Shinra-san," he said, stepping out of the way so Shinra could come in.

"Pardon the intrusion," Shinra said brightly as he kicked off his shoes. "I've come to check on the patient. How are you feeling, Mikado-kun?"

"A lot better, thanks to Kida-kun."

"Well, we'll see how good of a job Kida-kun is doing…" Shinra put his bag down on the floor next to Mikado's pillow and pulled out a stethoscope.

"Hey now, I've been doing everything the doctor's told me to." Kida put his hands on his hips.

"I'm sure you have, Kida-kun." Shinra helped Mikado pull his shirt off gingerly. "But doctors aren't always right the first time. Things change." Mikado stiffened at the words, wincing when his ribs disagreed with the tensing.

"Have you been taking the pain meds?" Shinra put the stethoscope on his palm for a minute to warm it before placing it over Mikado's heart.

"Not today. I don't want to take too many…" Mikado grimaced as the chest piece of the scope touched a bruise.

"Have you been able to shower since you've been back from the hospital?"

Kida and Mikado both shook their heads. "We haven't taken the bandages off," Kida explained.

"Okay, I'll help you get them off, and then finish checking you over, and then you're going to get a shower. I'll show Kida-kun how to wrap you back up again when you get out. Can't have you risking your stitches getting infected, or suffocating your nurse." Shinra tapped Mikado's forehead playfully.

Together Kida and Shinra got the bandages off Mikado. Kida became progressively queasier as more and more dark bruising was revealed.

"Don't overexert yourself, your ribs aren't healed all the way yet," Shinra warned.

"I won't," Mikado assured them.

"Oh!" Shinra stooped down to fish something out of his bag. "I'll give you the extra bandages I have with me, but you'll probably have to get some more soon…"

"Don't worry about it, Shinra-san. Anri-chan is supposed to come over later with some groceries. I'll have her get some then."

Shinra nodded. "Celty said that Sonohara-chan said that Mikajima-chan came back with you."

"Yeah." Kida nodded. "She's staying with Anri. I was, but it was starting to get crowded, and Mikado needs someone to stay with him anyways." He plucked his cells phone from the computer desk. "I'm going to call her. Hold on…"

"Hello?" Anri answered after a couple rings.

"Anri-chan, it's Kida. Since you're picking up some groceries for us, do you think you could get some extra bandages for Mikado? The poor thing, he's all bruised, I think he needs a woman's touch~!"

"O-oh, well, I'll be over as soon as I can, Kida-kun."

"Thank you so much, Anri-chan! Take your time, I don't want to rush you."

"It's no trouble. I was just leaving, actually. Bye, Kida-kun."

"Bye, Anri-chan." Kida flipped his cell phone closed.

—

"The slasher? What slasher?"

"You haven't heard? There've been tons of victims in Ikebukuro in the past few months," the girl continued. "A lot of high school girls were attacked, so you all might want to be careful. I'm Erika, by the way."

Haruhi ignored the hand that was offered her and barked, "Kyon! Call that Izaya guy, I want information on this slasher person!"

"Sure, sure." Kyon pulled out his cell phone and dialed Izaya's office number.

"Hello?"

The voice wasn't Izaya's—it was definitely female. Perhaps the girl who had been with him yesterday? "Ah, hello. Is Izaya-san there?"

"No, this is Mikajima Saki, his… business associate. Was there something you needed from Izaya-san?"

"We were wondering if he could tell us anything about the slasher. Do you know about it?"

"Actually, I know a lot about it. I can tell you about as much as Izaya-san, and, well, Izaya-san gave you the name of Ryuugamine Mikado-kun for information about the Headless Rider, right?"

"Yes."

"Ryuugamine-kun also happens to be a good friend of the slasher. And he's out of the hospital now, it's as good a time as any to pay him a visit."

Kyon glanced uneasily at Haruhi. "I wouldn't want to impose on a sick person."

"Kyon! What's that look you're giving me? Let me talk to him!" She jerked the phone out of his hand and put it up to her ear. "Hello? Oh, who is this? …Ryuugamine again? …Out of the hospital? Do you have his address?" Haruhi pulled a small notepad and a pen from her pocket and scribbled something down, then said a quick "Thanks!" and hung up.

"Yo, Koizumi." The group turned around to see Shizuo behind them. "Are you looking for Ryuugamine Mikado?"

"Hello, Heiwajima-san."

—

"Is that too tight?" Kida asked as he fastened the butterfly clips into the gauze around Mikado's chest. He'd wrapped the bandages once with Shinra, but they'd undone them so Shinra could make sure he knew how to do it on his own.

Mikado shook his head. "Just like when Shinra-sensei does it."

Shinra grinned. "Celty wanted me to tell you to get better." He ruffled Mikado's hair. "You shouldn't be on house arrest much longer. You're healing nicely."

"When will you come visit again?"

"In a few days. I'll call."

There was a sharp knock at the door. Kida looked up curiously and stood to open it.

"Hey, you were that girl in the bunny costume at the train station…" Kida's attention was immediately drawn to the pretty redhead.

"Who are you?" The brunette girl in the front of the group was suddenly closer to him than he wanted her to be. He wondered if people felt like this when he got in their personal space…

"Kida Masaomi…" He blinked. There was another girl, with short purple hair, and two boys. One looked very nonplussed, the other… amused? And… "Shizuo?"

"They want to see Mikado." Shizuo dropped the dying butt of his cigarette.

"He just got done getting a check up." Shinra appeared behind Kida, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Mikado-kun needs to rest right now."

"We don't have time for this! We need to know everything about the Headless Rider! Right now!" She tugged at her hair and then flung her hands out at the air dramatically.

"The Headless Rider?" Shinra's eyes lit up.

Shizuo's hand was suddenly on the doctor's face.

"Shinra-san, I don't mind. I'll just go to bed early tonight…"

"Excuse us," Itsuki chirped as they entered the small apartment.

Shizuo leaned down to growl in Shinra's ear. "Don't say a word about Celty or knowing the Headless Rider or anything. Got that?"

"But that nice girl wanted to know—"

"Keep your mouth shut, Shinra. You think Celty wants you going around telling people all about her?"

Shinra pursed his lips. "Well, I suppose you have a point."

They walked into the main area of the small apartment and sat opposite Mikado on the couch. Haruhi's friends were scattered around the room on the floor, but Haruhi was up and pacing.

"I heard you know the Headless Rider and the slasher! I want you to tell me everything you know!"

Mikado blinked. "I—I wouldn't say I know very much… I _have _met the Headless Rider, but—"

"I have it on good authority that you can give me information. What's she like?"

"Oh, well, she's very nice, actually. Not especially talkative." Mikado smiled.

"So she can't speak. Makes sense. How does she communicate?"

"She types on her cell phone. She's very elusive, Haruhi-san, and you won't find her unless she wants to be found."

Haruhi pouted. "Well, tell me about the slasher, then. I heard you know him."

There was another knock at the door. Kida rushed to open it.

"Hello, Kida-kun. I brought—oh… I hope I'm not intruding."

"Not at all, Anri-chan! We were just having a chat with this lovely lady and her friends. They've come to Ikebukuro to learn about the Headless Rider and the slasher."

Anri's eyes widened. "The slasher?"

"Yes, we have it on good authority that Ryuugamine-kun can give us information on the slasher." Itsuki smiled at the girl.

Anri walked in slowly and set the grocery bags on the counter. She looked over her shoulder at the people staring at her.

"So the slasher," Haruhi started, "is he a violent person?"

"No! No, no, not at all. The slasher is quiet a nice person really…" Mikado scratched the back of his neck.

"So he's never threatened to slash you?"

"No."

"Is he an alien?" She looked at him hopefully.

"No, Suzumiya-san."

"Esper? Cyborg? Magical?"

"I guess magical is one way to describe it… And there are some epser-like abilities that come with it… I guess."

"What kind of abilities?"

"I don't really know how to explain it, Suzumiya-san…" At this point Kida had maneuvered himself to sit on the couch with Mikado's legs in his lap, and Sonohara was putting away the last roll of bandages in the cabinet. She kept glancing back at him anxiously.

"Will you introduce us to him?"

"Ryuugamine-kun, I just remembered…" Anri started towards the door, hurriedly tugging on her shoes. "Saki-chan asked me to bring her something at Orihara-san's office. I have to go. I'll call you tomorrow. Bye, Kida-kun, Shinra-san, Heiwajima-san." She bowed quickly and left.

"What's wrong with her?" Haruhi asked, annoyed that she'd been interrupted.

"Ah… Sonohara-san doesn't like talking about the slasher," Mikado said quickly. "Her parents were killed by the slasher…"

"Oh. So anyway, can you introduce me?"

Mikado glanced at Kida. "N-no, I don't think that would be a good idea, Haruhi-san. The slasher doesn't want to be known by everyone any more than the Headless Rider does."

"When you say the slasher is a nice person, what do you mean? He's a _slasher, _doesn't it worry you to hang around someone who goes around stabbing people?"

"Well, no… There are extenuating circumstances."

"What kind of extenuating circumstances?"

"The sword the slasher uses is a magical sword," Kida cut in. "Called Saika."

"_Magical! _What's it do, how does it work?"

"I—I don't know much about it, Haruhi-san," Mikado said. "But I know the slasher doesn't… mean to do it."

Shizuo elbowed Shinra, nodding at the door and then at Mikado. Shinra stood. "Well, I think that's as much as my patient can take for one day. I'm sorry, Mikado-kun, doctor's orders! Out, out, everyone, except Kida-kun, of course. I'll see you in a few days, Mikado-kun, so stay healthy and don't overexert yourself! Kida-kun, keep an eye on him!"

Mikado blinked after them. "That was very strange."

"Yes. Poor Anri-chan~! You'll have to call her and make her feel better, ne, Mi~ka~do?"

"Masaomi," Mikado said exasperatedly. "I told you it's not like that."

"And until you tell me why I'll keep making jokes~!"

"I keep trying to tell you, but I keep getting interrupted!" Mikado smiled.

"Tell me now, then!" Kida sat back down and crossed his arms on the edge of the couch cushion Mikado sat on. He laid he head on his arms and waited for Mikado to say what he'd been trying to.

"Masaomi, I—"

Kida's phone rang loudly. "Linda, Linda~! Linda, Linda, Linda~!"

Kida fished the phone out of his pocket. Saki's name flashed on the display. He clicked ignore and tossed the phone to the foot of the couch.

Mikado sighed, letting himself sink into the cushions. His side smarted.

"Mikado…?" Kida asked, seeing the wince.

"I'm fine. I think I moved funny. Hurts a little."

"Oh—is it really painful? Should I call Shinra-san?"

"Don't be silly, Masaomi, it's really not that bad."

"I don't believe you~! Where's my phone, I threw it somewhere, there it is—"

"Oh, Masaomi, don't, I don't want Shinra-san to have to come all the way back here to check on me. I'm sure I'll be fine if I stop moving around so much."

Kida looked at him seriously. "You better not be lying to me, Mikado." He tapped his friend's nose. "You may be okay with putting your health at risk, but I'm not."

Mikado smiled. "I'm _fine. _Don't worry so much."

"I'm your nurse! I'm _supposed _to worry about you."

Mikado rolled his eyes.

"Do you want a pain pill?" Kida got up and snatched the prescription bottle from next to the computer.

"Not really, but if it'll make you feel better." Mikado held out his hand for the pill. Kida put the pill in his hand and replaced the pill bottle before going to get a water bottle.

Mikado downed the pill and water.

"Have sweet dreams about Anri-chan!" Kida cooed as Mikado closed his eyes.


	3. Go Sightseeing

A/N: I think this will be Bailey's favorite chapter. What does Scarlet think? :D —Katie

/giggles/ Methinks so too! —Scarlet

Warnings: None that we haven't already warned you about.

Disclaimer: Don't own it, don't make money off of it… Unless you count Bailey's adoration as currency….

Panacea: Chapter 3—Go Sightseeing

"What time is it?" Mikado mumbled, pulling himself out of the narcotic-induced sleep.

"Eight," Kida answered, setting down his magazine.

"At night?" Mikado sounded surprised. He'd slept through almost the entire day.

"No, in the morning." Mikado blanched, and then Kida smirked. "Just kidding~!"

Mikado frowned in annoyance.

"Just wait a few more weeks, and you can throw that pillow at me all you want." Kida glanced at the hand clutching the corner of Mikado's pillow. "At least this is your last week with them all wrapped up like that."

Mikado nodded and settled into the pillows again. "But I still have to be careful for another few weeks after that…"

Kida stood up and stretched. "Hungry?"

Mikado shrugged. "A little."

"What do you want?"

"I can get it, Masaomi…" Mikado swung his legs over the side of the couch.

Kida put his hands on Mikado's shoulders. "Stay. I won't have you up and moving around so much. Shinra-san said not to overexert yourself."

Mikado sighed and nodded. "Just something easy, then."

"I would happily make you a five-course meal, you know. In fact, I won't be satisfied until you come up with something extravagant."

"Whatever you say…"

—

"Haruhi, maybe we should go home."

"Don't be ridiculous, why would we go home?"

"For one," Kyon said, "I think we've taken advantage of—er—Nagato-san's parents' hospitality for long enough."

It was just an excuse, really, because Yuki was, after all, Yuki, so the money paying for their two hotel rooms was virtually infinite. But Koizumi had mentioned that morning, before they'd all met up for breakfast, that it might be a good idea to get Haruhi out of Ikebukuro before she managed to find the Headless Rider or the slasher, neither of which seemed at all unlikely at this point.

"And anyway, that Ryuugamine kid said that the headless chick doesn't just let herself be found, right? And you've made so much noise about wanting to find her that she probably knows to avoid you."

Haruhi ignored Kyon. "We need to strategize."

—

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Mikado watched Kida prance around his kitchenette from the safe distance of the couch.

"Of course! How could you ever doubt me?" Kida threw a hand dramatically into the air, bracelet twinkling in the kitchen lights.

The microwave's timer went off and Kida pressed a button before swiping the lid off the pan on the burner.

Mikado wasn't sure what it was supposed to be, but he was sure it wasn't supposed to create enough black smoke to activate the smoke detectors. Kida hurried to turn on the vent and open the windows.

"Okay," he said as he helped Mikado stand up, "maybe take out would be a better choice?" They sat down on the steps outside the apartment and waited for the smoke to clear.

Mikado chuckled. "When I'm healed enough that you'll let me stand for more than five minutes, I'll have to teach you how to cook. Poor Saki-san, having to cook all your meals."

"Saki can't cook either." Kida grinned. "We eat a lot of takeout."

Talking about Saki made Mikado think of something. "Ne… Masaomi?"

"Hm?"

"After I'm better, are you… are you and Saki-san going to leave again?"

Kida blinked. "I… hadn't thought about it. I've missed Ikebukuro."

"It's missed you too. _I've _missed you."

"Ah, Mikado! You've been so heartbroken about my absence that you've started to forget Anri-chan, is that it?"

Mikado smiled. "Something like that."

"Well, then, perhaps it's my duty as your best friend to stay by your side, since obviously you and Anri-chan are both too shy, ne?"

"I don't like Sonohara-san like that, Masaomi."

"That's what you keep telling me, but somehow when it comes to telling me why, you keep getting interrupted." Kida pouted.

"Let's get something to eat, and then we'll talk."

"Sure you don't want to tell me n—"

Footsteps started to come down the stairs on the floor above them.

"Ya know, I think the universe really just doesn't want me to tell you." Mikado grinned and held his hands out for Kida to help him up again.

"No, you don't. You're not going anywhere!" Kida shook his finger.

"So you're going to leave me here where anyone could come by and—"

"Let's go!" Kida took Mikado's hands and eased him up. "Tell me if it starts to hurt."

"It's only my ribs that are hurt. My legs are fine."

"Tell me if it starts to hurt."

" I will." Mikado rolled his eyes at his friend.

—

Saki was cleaning off the book shelves when she found it. Namie-san was out for the rest of the evening and Izaya would be mad at her for snooping… But still, she thought Suzumiya-san might be interested.

—

Kyon sighed as he flipped through Haruhi's pocket notepad. The first person they'd interviewed after lunch had been completely useless, some Italian foreigner. Then there'd been the three men with the van who had been semi-helpful at best, the girls who had run away at the mention of Izaya-san, and that Erika girl from yesterday and three of her friends who told them they shouldn't be meddling.

His phone beeped in his pocket.

"Izaya-san?" he asked, flipping it open.

"No, this is Mikajima Saki. I think I have something Haruhi might be interested in…"

"What is it?"

"I think it's best I show you in person. Can you find a ride to Shinjuku?"

Kyon paused. "I guess we could get a taxi. What's in Shinjuku?"

"Izaya-san's office." Saki told him the address, and Kyon scribbled it on the notepad. "Izaya-san should be coming back soon, so how about we meet tomorrow? I'll give you a call when it's okay to come."

"Sure," Kyon said. "Thanks." He hung up.

"What was that about?" Koizumi asked.

"Mikajima-san just called and said she had something she wanted Haruhi to see," Kyon said, "but I'm debating whether or not to tell her. If Mikajima's somehow managed to get the Headless Rider to meet Haruhi, we don't want her going."

Koizumi tilted his head thoughtfully. "Haruhi's in touch with Mikajima-san too. If she finds out you didn't tell her about this meeting, she'll be livid."

Kyon pursed his lips. "True. I guess we'll just have to hope this thing's low-key."

—

"Still not hurting?" Kida asked, helping Mikado into pajamas.

"No. The pain meds are probably helping. But it felt good to be up and walking around."

"Ne, now that we're back, it's time to tell me about what happened between you and Anri-chan!"

Mikado sat down on the futon. "It doesn't really have anything to do with Sonohara-san. Masaomi, I… I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Uncomfortable?" Kida sat next to him, placing a hand on Mikado's shoulder. "What would make me uncomfortable?"

Mikado stared at his hands in his lap. "I don't like girls."

Kida blinked. "So…?"

"So I like boys."

Kida grinned lopsidedly. "Hey, man, if that's what floats your boat." He patted Mikado's shoulder, lightly. "Who's the lucky guy then?"

"Masaomi."

"What?" Kida had started to get up to get something to drink.

"You! I like you…"

Kida's lips quirked into a confused frown, and he sat back down. "Me?"

"Wh-when you left, I… I missed you so much. I was pretty depressed for a while." Mikado glanced at the blonde. "I thought about it a lot. About how I felt about you, and how I felt about Sonohara-san… and…" He sighed. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I don't want things to change between us. But I didn't want to lie… We've lied to each other enough. So I'm sorry if… if how I feel about you makes you feel… awkward." Mikado looked down, his face flushing.

Kida caught Mikado's chin and tilted it up so blue eyes met his own. "I don't feel awkward," he murmured. "And maybe… maybe _I_ want things to change."

"What do you mean?"

Kida looked at Mikado for a moment, then leaned forward and pressed his lips to Mikado's.

Mikado hesitated for just a moment, then scooted closer to Kida, threading a hand through his hair.

The kiss broke a few seconds later, and Mikado leaned his head against Kida's. "M-Masaomi… what about Saki-san?"

Kida was silent for a minute. "I don't know," he said finally.

"What now?"

"Lay down."

"What?"

"You need to sleep still, leaning forward like that can't be comfortable." Kida pulled back.

"Well, no, but…"

Kida put one hand on Mikado's back and the other on his shoulder, helping him lay down without bending.

"Masaomi…" Mikado looked up at Kida.

"Sleep." Kida pressed a soft kiss to his mouth and pulled back.

"Even if I _was_ tired, there's no way I'd be able to sleep now!" Mikado couldn't keep the glare from his face.

"I could give you a pain pill… It'd knock you out…"

"I don't want to sleep! I want to talk about this."

"I don't know what to say."

Mikado caught Kida's hand. "Is… is this what you want?"

"I told you it is, Mikado." Kida sat down, pushed a few locks of hair out of Mikado's face. "Saki and I… we've never exactly had a healthy relationship. She only dated me because Izaya told her to, and now… maybe we're only still together because she was attacked. I don't know. But I want to be with you more than anyone in the world."

Mikado frowned. "How long?"

"I… I don't know. When I found out you got hurt, maybe. Or maybe that's when I started to realize it." Kida crawled onto the futon, lay down on his side with his head next to Mikado's. "Things changed with me and Saki too, sort of. Maybe they changed a long time ago."

Mikado watched Kida bring a hand up to trace around his lips, cup his cheek. "So was all your skirt-chasing always just an act?"

"Don't be silly, Mikado! I love women." He caught Mikado's lips again. "I just love Mikado more."

Mikado flushed.

"You okay?" Kida looked slightly concerned.

Mikado flinched when Kida crawled over him to place their foreheads together.

"Masaomi?"

"You got all red… Shinra said to be really careful about not getting sick."

"I don't know how I'd get sick with all the antibiotics I'm taking right now." Kida smiled and locked his lips with Mikado's in a lazy kiss that left them both panting when they pulled apart.

Kida grinned. "So?"

Mikado swallowed. "So?"

"How do I kiss?"

"W-why would you ask something like that?" Mikado flushed.

"I must know! Am I as good as Anri-chan?" Kida leaned down and nuzzled Mikado's neck.

Mikado smacked the top of the blonde's head. "Since you have to know, no."

Kida pulled back, a strangled look on his face.

Mikado smirked. "Better."

Kida shook his head. "No, no, no! You kissed Anri-chan?"

"Maybe."

"But I'm better?"

"Masaomi has more experience." Mikado tapped Kida's nose. "And Masaomi is Masaomi, so of course I'd like his kisses better."

"So in terms of skill—"

Mikado rolled his eyes and pulled Kida down for another kiss.

-TBC-


	4. Relax with Your Loved Ones

A/N: This took longer than planned. Very sorry, everyone!

Warnings: Sexytiems in this chapter!

Disclaimer: We don't own it.

Panacea: Chapter 4—Relax with Your Loved Ones

There was a pleasant weight stretched across Mikado's stomach, he realized as he slowly drifted back into consciousness. And something curled against his side, and hot breath puffing against his neck...

Mikado remembered the night before and smiled, opening his eyes blearily. Kida was still fast asleep, so Mikado picked up the hand on his hip and laced their fingers together, stroking his thumb over Kida's.

Mikado craned his neck to look at the leg that was thrown over his. Kida had never changed into his pajamas.

"Quit moving," Kida muttered into his neck.

Mikado rolled his eyes and tried to roll onto his side. Kida's hand was pinning him down at the shoulder.

"If you don't quit moving around I'm going to call Shinra-san and make him send Celty-san over here to hold you down with her smoke," Kida mumbled.

"I didn't know you were into bondage, Masaomi." Mikado poked his cheek.

"I didn't know you knew what bondage meant." Kida pushed himself up to kiss Mikado good morning.

Mikado chuckled quietly. "Too much time on the forums with Kanra-san, I guess."

"Oh? What else has Kanra-san been teaching you?" Kida swung a leg over Mikado so he was straddling him.

"This and that," Mikado said breezily. He laughed at Kida's expression, somewhere between horrified and skeptical. "Don't give me that look. I bet you and Saki-san have done a lot more than I've talked about with Kanra-san."

"Not really," Kida admitted, running his fingers absently down Mikado's arm. Mikado shivered.

"Huh." Mikado smiled, a little shyly. "So then, what have you done?"

Kida's ears burned red.

Mikado laughed quietly and beckoned Kida down to him. His hand curled around Kida's ear.

Kida flinched and jerked away, pouting sourly.

Mikado laughed shallowly. "I didn't know you were ticklish."

Kida crawled back over Mikado. "Well now you do."

"What _have _you done with Saki-san?" Mikado's eyes surveyed Kida curiously. "I'll tell you what happened with Sonohara-san."

"Can we not talk about them?" Kida glanced guiltily at his phone, balanced his weight on one hand, and slid the phone across the floor into the kitchenette area with a flick of his wrist. Mikado hooked his hands behind Kida's neck and pulled Kida down for a kiss.

"You already—"

Kida silenced the boy under him with another kiss. That was the last thing he wanted to be talking about.

"Masaomi..." Mikado panted. His chest was starting to hurt from the deep gulps of air he had to take when they broke apart. It was good, though. It hurt a lot less than when the doctors had tested how deeply he could breath when he first got into the hospital, and he was breathing deeper now. He smiled brightly at the blonde above him.

"Hm?" Kida dipped his head to trail kisses down Mikado's jaw.

"If you don't want to talk about the things you've done with Saki-san... maybe you could show me?"

Kida blinked, and Mikado flushed. Had he really just _said _that?

"I told you," Kida murmured, "we haven't... done much. But I guess I can..." Kida hesitated. "It's different because you're a boy."

Mikado chuckled. "Well, so are you. You know what _you _like."

Kida nodded, conceding the point, and slid off Mikado's waist, suddenly and uncharacteristically shy. "I don't..." Kida looked away. "I don't want to... disappoint you or anything."

Mikado tilted his head. "Masaomi, we don't have to do anything."

Kida's eyes glinted. "Do you not want my body? Mikado, I'm shocked." Kida clutched at his hoodie dramatically.

Mikado frowned, grabbing the hoodie and tugging down.

Kida's hand slid under Mikado's chin, tilting it up. "That will be taken as a 'Yes, Masaomi, I want to do all sorts of naughty things to your body!' incase you're wondering." Kida winked and sealed his lips to Mikado's.

The kiss started slow enough, a gentle meshing of lips. Kida's mouth trailed to Mikado's jawline, near his ear, and then down to his shoulder...

"If you start to hurt..." Kida touched Mikado's chest lightly. "...Tell me."

Mikado nodded, reaching up to push some of the hair in Kida's face away.

Kida kissed his lips once more before returning to where he had been attacking Mikado's Adam's apple. He trailed a hand down Mikado's chest lightly, then pushed Mikado's t-shirt up and turned his attention to a dark nipple.

"O-oh-Masaomi-" Mikado gasped, arching up as Kida's tongue swirled around his nipple, sending shocks of pleasure to his groin.

"Don't move around too much, or I'll stop," Kida warned him.

"I couldn't help it. Don't do such a good job if you don't want me to... react."

Kida snickered. "What I'm going to do next might make you re-break some ribs, then."

Mikado craned his neck to watch Kida slip down his torso and shuck off his pajama pants.

"What—" He groaned as Kida's tongue flicked over the head of his cock.

"If you arch your back like that again!" Kida sat up.

Mikado hissed as he eased himself back down to the futon. "Right..."

"You gonna be able to stay still?"

Mikado shook his head.

"Come on." Kida helped Mikado up and dragged him into the bathroom. He turned the shower on and stripped himself, then helped Mikado take off his bandages.

"Stay against the wall," Kida ordered with a grin.

Mikado let Kida push him against the back wall of the shower stall and tangled his hands into Kida's hair as the blonde's tongue curled around his shaft.

"I don't know if-" Mikado choked on his words as Kida swiped his tongue over the head of his cock. "Oh God-I don't know if this will help me not move-"

"Shh." Kida hummed around him, the vibrations making Mikado shiver. "You have such a sexy voice, Mikado, but it's very distracting~!"

"Sh-shut up," Mikado snapped, then gasped as Kida probed his entrance with one finger. "What are you—"

"Does it feel good?"

Mikado looked thoughtful for a moment. "Not really... It doesn't feel bad either!" Mikado clenched down on the finger as Kida began to pull it out.

Kida tilted his head in a half nod and dipped his head back down to Mikado's groin. He took the head into his mouth and sucked.

Mikado groaned and tightened his grip on Kida's hair. At least he wasn't arching forward this way, just trying to trust his hips, which he also wasn't doing anymore either due to the finger in... unmentionable places. He blushed as Kida worked the finger in further.

Kida's mouth was steadily working down his shaft, and then the finger wiggling inside of him brushed against something. Mikado shuddered. Kida swallowed and then coughed as Mikado came.

"Masaomi?" Mikado dropped to the floor of the shower next to Kida.

Kida coughed again and wiped some of the white fluid off of his face. He smirked.

Mikado looked at him warily. "Masaomi...?"

Kida leaned forward and caught Mikado's lips, forcing his tongue into Mikado's mouth.

Mikado pulled away. "That... tastes..." He flushed. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. You're going to return the favor."

"I-I am?"

"It's only fair, ne, Mikado~?"

"But I... I don't know how..."

"Neither did I, but I did it, and you certainly seemed to enjoy it." Kida winked.

"But-you've had it done to you before..."

"And now so have you."

Mikado blinked. "Th-that's true..."

Kida stood, leaning against the wall where Mikado had been a minute before. "Go on," he said.

Mikado hesitantly took Kida's erection in hand, stroking from base to tip. Kida moaned encouragingly, so Mikado leaned forward and touched his tongue to the head.

Kida closed his eyes in pleasure. Mikado closed his lips around the head and flicked his tongue over the slit. Kida's hands found their way to Mikado's hair, settling, rather than tugging. Mikado brought the hand that wasn't at the base of Kida's cock up to trace over his balls.

Kida moaned loudly as the dark haired boy's tongue slipped around his head. Mikado pulled back with a small lick. "Do you want me to do...that?" Mikado made a gesture.

"If you want..." Kida shrugged a shoulder.

Mikado nodded and took Kida back into his mouth.

"Ribs okay?" Kida gasped.

Mikado hummed in answer and ran a fingertip over Kida's entrance.

"Nngh—_wow_—" Kida had to strain to keep his hips from bucking. "And you said that didn't feel good?"

Mikado looked up at him and raised an eyebrow, then slipped the finger inside Kida, watching Kida's expression change.

"Oh. Ohh. That's _weird_."

Mikado dragged his tongue up the underside of Kida's cock, experimentally pushing the finger deeper and then drawing it back out again. Kida squirmed, his fingers scrabbling to find purchase on the tiled wall.

"Are you okay?" Mikado asked, momentarily pulling his mouth away from Kida's length.

"Am I _okay_? Is that a serious question? Keep going!"

Mikado flushed and went back to licking the head, using one hand to cup Kida's balls and the other to finger him.

"Mikado..." Kida panted, his hips rolling in small circles. Mikado looked up and hm-ed in question. At that moment Mikado's finger brush something inside of him and Kida pushed Mikado's head away from his groan as he came, not wanting Mikado to suffer the same fate as he had.

After the initial splash of white goo hit his cheek, Mikado brought his hand up and cupped the head of the length. Mikado straightened, and, after a kiss, they finished showering.

They lay on Mikado's futon afterward, Mikado on his back and Kida curled carefully around him, an arm thrown over his waist and his head on Mikado's shoulder. Mikado toyed with the ends of Kida's hair.

"Ne, Masaomi..."

"Hm? What is it?" Kida mumbled sleepily.

"I... I was just thinking... this feels wrong." Kida sat up, looking down at Mikado in confusion and a little fear, so Mikado continued quickly, "N-not because it's... you... Just... Saki-san..."

"...Oh." Kida ran a hand through his damp hair. He didn't know what to say, so he lay slowly back down, cushioning his head on Mikado's shoulder again.

"I... I don't want to lie to her... but I don't want to make you choose..." Mikado paused. "Well, I want you to choose. A-and if you'd rather be with Saki-san..."

"Don't be stupid," Kida murmured. "None of this would've happened if I would rather be with Saki. I wouldn't string you along like that." He sighed. "I'll call her. Where's my cell phone?"

Mikado raised a hand and pointed toward the kitchenette. "You shoved it over there."

Kida got up to pick up the phone and walked back over to Mikado, stooping to give him a kiss. "I'll be back in a little bit, call me if you need anything." Kida placed the bottle of water and the pain killers next to the futon and pulled Mikado's cell phone off the desk to slip it under the pillow.

Mikado frowned a little as Kida left but eventually took a sip of the water and went back to sleep, his hand tangled in the phone charms. Kida came back later with ice cream, a chocolate cone for himself and strawberry for Mikado.


	5. Check out the Local Venues

A/N: We're sorry this is late… We're together now, again, so it should be done faster… like there should be two more chapters after this, and we plan to have them done in the next couple days. Don't we, Katie? : ) Oh! And sorry this is a little short, but we didn't want to rush the next chapter. —Scarlet

Disclaimer: Durarara! and Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu belong to their respective owners, which we are not.

Warnings: None… There is a problem with that…

Panacea: Chapter 5—Check Out the Local Venues

"What'd you tell her?" Mikado asked as Kida sat down next to him.

"Just that things haven't felt right between us in a long time, and that I can't do it anymore because I want to be with you." Kida shrugged.

"Is she… what'd she say?"

"Not much. She was more shocked than anything, I think. Not upset, exactly."

Mikado bit his lip. "I hope so. I don't want her to get hurt because of us—me."

"Ne, ne." Kida nuzzled Mikado's nose. "You can't help it that you were seduced by my charm and good looks~! Anyone in your position would be!"

"If I recall," Mikado murmured, "_I'm _the one who seduced _you_."

Kida laughed and tussled Mikado's hair. "Whatever~!" He tucked his head between the smaller boy's head and shoulder and pressed several kissed up his jaw.

"That tickles, Masaomi." A hand covered Kida's mouth.

Kida whined. "But I just can't resist you, Mikado~"

Mikado rolled his eyes. "You're not getting into my pants that easily."

"I'll just have to convince you then…"

—

"Come in, come in." Saki ushered the little group into Izaya's office. Shizuo was waiting outside; Saki had figured (probably correctly) that Shizuo would go into a rage and start breaking everything in sight if he were allowed in.

"So what's this amazing thing you wanted to show us?" Haruhi demanded.

Saki smiled. "Just a moment."

Kyon looked around as Saki disappeared into another room. "There's something weird about this. I don't like it."

"What do you mean?" Koizumi asked.

"I dunno. I just get bad vibes from that girl. And I mean, Heiwajima-san hates that Orihara guy with a passion, you'd think it's for a good reason."

"It's probably just UST," Haruhi said offhandedly. "Chill out, Kyon, seriously, you're such a downer." Haruhi strode over to the desk and sat down in Izaya's chair. "I think that dragon kid didn't tell us everything he knows. He and that blonde guy have something going on too..." She propped her feet up and picked up a chess piece that had been tossed onto the desk.

"Miss Suzumiya, we don't talk about Kida-san here."

Her brow furrowed in annoyance as Saki came back into the room.

"What did you bring us here for, Mikajima-san?" Koizumi smiled.

"This." She removed the cloth that covered the object she was holding.

A small tank with a floating head sat on the end table.

—

"What the hell's taking them so long in there," Shizuo growled, tapping his foot. "If that bastard gets back before they're done, I can't be held responsible for my actions."

The door opened then, and Haruhi and the others poured out onto the sidewalk, Haruhi carrying something covered by a cloth.

"I can't believe she just _gave _that thing to you," Kyon said. "I told you there was something weird going on. How does she even have it?"

"Shut up, Kyon! The point is that now I can _definitely _get the Headless Rider to come find me! I'll just let everyone know I have her head!"

"You _what_?" Shizuo jerked the thing in Haruhi's hands away from her and pulled the cloth off. The head of the Headless Rider... Celty's head... "That damn _bastard _Izaya, he's had it this whole time..."

"What's going on?" Haruhi reached out to take the head back, but Shizuo held it over his head.

"We're going to see a friend of mine."

"Why?"

"If we do you might get to see the Headless Rider. Come on."

"Where are we going, Heiwajima-san?" Koizumi asked as he fell into step next to the tall blonde.

"Shinra's."

—

"Shinra! Open up!" Shizuo pounded on the door.

"Hello, Shizuo! What bring you here?"

"Where's Celty?" Shizuo pushed the little doctor aside and stormed into the apartment.

"Shizuo, what's going on?" Shinra followed him back into the apartment while the five teens piled into the entryway.

"The bastard Izaya had Celty's head the whole time!" Shizuo lifted the cloth.

Shinra turned away. "No. Get out."

"Shinra!"

"Get out!" Shinra shoved at the bartender.

"What the hell is your problem? Celty's been looking for it for decades!"

"She doesn't want it anymore!" Shinra shouted, uncharacteristically fierce. "Get _out _before she gets back, Shizuo!"

"If she doesn't want it, why does it matter if she sees it?"

"She can't get her memories back. If she gets them back, she—she might want to leave. I can't let that happen, and I know you don't want it to either, so get out of here. Get rid of that thing. I don't care what you do with it, but make sure Celty never, ever sees it."

"This Celty person," Haruhi cut in, "is she the Headless Rider? You knew her and you didn't _tell _me?"

Shizuo ignored her. "Celty never said anything to me about quitting the search."

"She hasn't been actively looking for it, either. You didn't notice?"

"...No. Okay. We'll leave, and I won't mention this to Celty."

"Thank you..." Shinra 's hair covered his face as he shut the door.

"Who is Celty?" Haruhi demanded.

Shizuo growled, "Don't worry about it."

Haruhi tapped her foot impatiently. Kyon leaned against the elevator wall.

"What are we going to do now, Suzumiya-san?" Asahina peered over Yuki's shoulder.

"We're going to go tell everyone about the head." She was glaring up at Shizuo still.

"You won't find her if she doesn't want to be found." Shizuo stepped out of the elevator, Celty's head still in hand. "And if Shinra's right, not even her head will make her reveal herself."

—

"I'm calling to inform you that you botched a job."

"What the hell are you talking about?" a rough voice snarled.

Saki smiled. "The leader of Dollars, Ryuugamine Mikado, is still quite alive, and he has no intention of disbanding Dollars."

"Who is this?"

"A friend of a friend of his. The Yellow Scarves' former leader, Kida Masaomi, is staying with Ryuugamine, as it happens. I can give you the address of Ryuugamine's apartment, and you can take them both out at once, ne?"

The person on the other end was silent for a moment. "What's the catch?" he asked finally.

"No catch."

—

"Where are you?" Izaya growled into his phone. It wasn't as if he didn't know, of course. He wouldn't be calling if he didn't know. He was looking right at them anyway.

"We're at the Dollars' leader's place, getting ready to finish the job, Boss."

"I didn't tell you to do that. Did I?"

"No, Boss. That girl did."

"Namie?"

"Nah, the new one."

"Find her. Rough her up a bit. She needs to know that she doesn't give orders and she doesn't take stuff from me. Find the head. She should be near Russia Sushi by now."

"Head?"

"She stole a head from me. If she doesn't have it, figure out where it is. Use force if you have to. I don't care. Just get. It. Back." He snapped the phone shut.


	6. Come Back Soon

A/N: Final chapter, wut? This is so fucking short, lol. Sorry.

Warnings: Violence and trolls (Um, most of the trolling is on our part… Not Izaya's)

Disclaimer: We don't own Haruhi-tachi or Ikebukuro-tachi. Unfortunately~

Panacea: Chapter 6— Come Back Soon

"Did they leave?" Mikado whispered.

Kida waved a hand at him, looking out the peep hole. "Sh!" He tightened his grip on the broom he'd procured as a weapon. "They just… left. You can come out now."

"I don't see why you made me lock myself in the bathroom…" Mikado rolled his eyes.

"You're still hurt! It's my job to make sure you get better!" Kida grabbed Mikado's shoulder and pulled him into a hug.

"That doesn't mean you have to put yourself in danger."

"I protect the people I care about, no matter what." Kida looked out the peep hole again and breathed a sigh. "It seems like they're really gone. I don't get it."

"I suppose we should stay in for a while, just in case," Mikado said. "They could've cleared off to get us out of the apartment…"

Kida nodded and kissed Mikado's forehead. "If they come back—"

"I'll hide in the bathroom," Mikado promised, his tone exasperated. "Maybe we should call Shizuo-san, have him check the place out…"

"He's playing bodyguard with that Suzumiya girl right now. I'm sure we'll be fine."

—

"H-Heiwajima-san!" Asahina pointed down an alley they were passing with shaking fingers. "I think there's a—a body!"

"A body?" Haruhi repeated excitedly, pushing past Asahina. "Cool!"

Shizuo rolled his eyes. The girl was probably just seeing things. He was about to tell her as much when his eyes fell on a very familiar, bloody lump in the middle of the alley.

"Mikajima…?" Shizuo jogged down the alley and rolled Saki onto her back. She was breathing shallowly, and he found when he checked her pulse that it was unsettlingly weak.

"I need to get her back to Shinra's as quickly as possible. You all stay here; you'll just slow me down, and Shinra doesn't want you there anyway."

"Of course, Heiwajima-san." Itsuki nodded as the blonde picked up their new acquaintance and headed back the way they came.

"I'm bored. There's nothing interesting here anymore."

"Aren't you worried about Mikajima-san at all?" Kyon glared.

"Well, I'm sure there was a reason. Besides, it was pretty cool, to find a body like that."

Kyon glanced over the tops of Yuki and Asahina's heads to lock eyes with the other male as their fearless leader started towards the street again.

"Where's do ya's think you's goin', huh?"

Haruhi stopped when the large men wielding bats and crow bars and was that a knife, and oh, a gun, lovely, appeared from either side of the alley's entrance. She was several steps in front of them and he couldn't see her expression, but when her arms started flinging excitedly he was sure her eyes had lit up.

"This is just like that one movie! You're the ones who beat up that girl who gave us the head! Are you gangsters? Because, if you're not, that would be super boring."

Kyon cringed when the men laughed. Itsuki stepped forward, placing a hand on Haruhi's shoulder and smiling ambivalently.

"I'm sure these nice men aren't gangsters, Suzumiya-san. Sirs, if you could let us through, we were on our way to a friend's house..."

"Tha boss's new girl said you's had tha boss's head. I think i's creepy, but the boss wan's it back, so's..."

Koizumi pulled Haruhi back as the man to the left of the one that spoke lunged forward with his bat.

—

Celty halted her motorcycle when she turned the corner, then inched it backward. She wanted to help, but she wasn't supposed to reveal herself to that girl, the others had been very insistent about that...

She pulled out her cell phone and dialed Shizuo's number. It rang six times before she hung up, confused. Shizuo rarely ignored his phone. What was going on? This time she dialed Shinra—no answer there either.

Well, it couldn't be the end of the world if the girl saw her, could it? Stowing her phone away, she spun the bike around the corner in time to hear the deafening bang of a gunshot.

—

The four teens turned in time to see Haruhi's body jerk with the impact of the bullet.

The last thing Haruhi saw before the world went white was a leather-clad woman on a black motorcycle, the neighing of an unseen horse fading in the bullet's echo.

—

"Excuse me, could I interest you in coming to the Drama Club's play this evening?"

Kyon blinked at the boy in front of him for a moment before he registered that they were wearing the same uniform. He looked down to find a paper practically pressed against his chest.

"Oh, you're Kyon-kun! Well I'm—"

"Koizumi." Kyon took the flier and quickly side-stepped the smiling young man.

"Hope to see you at the show tonight!"

—

"You gonna take their orders or just sit there, stupid flea?" Shizuo inspected the freshly polished rim of the glass in his hand, glancing at his boyfriend out of the corner of his eye.

Izaya grunted something and started to slide off the barstool where he had perched.

"That's okay, Orihara-san, we're just going to sit at the bar until Sonohara-san gets here with her parents."

"Why don't you take their order, Shizzy-chan?" Izaya grinned as he settled back into the padded stool.

"What are you to going to be up to this evening?" Shizuo walked over to where they were hopping up into the chairs.

"Well, it's been a year since…" Mikado looked at Kida for permission.

"Since Saki died on Shinra's operating table, you know it doesn't bother me to talk about it anymore," Kida said softly, picking up a menu.

"That was an awful attack. But because of it the Blue Squares won't hurt anyone else, Kida."

The smaller blonde shrugged, eyes scanning the menu stubbornly, as if he hadn't been in almost every day since they had opened it a month ago.

"But Shinra-sensei still feels really bad about the whole thing, so he and Celty-san are going out to dinner and we're watching the kids."

"You mean Celty's forcing him to let her take him out for dinner, and we're watching the kids."

Mikado laughed softly. "More or less."

"Ryuugamine-kun! Kida-kun!" Anri waved as she came in the door with her parents.

"Go get their orders, you stupid flea."

"This stupid flea is not giving you any more blow jobs," Izaya grouched as he stepped down from the bar stool and took the ballpoint pen from behind his ear to write on his tablet with. "What would you like to drink?"

A/N: And… the end? That was supposed to imply that Haruhi dying restarted the world with some pretty big changes.


End file.
